Dogme 95	Dogpile 95
VOW OF CHASTITY I swear to submit to the following set of rules drawn up and confirmed by DOGME 95:	BOW-WOW-VOW OF FAST-AND-SHITTY A contract which binds the undersigned filmmaker (meaning you!) and their eternal soul to the dark lord Satan... er... I mean, to make sure their sinematic... um... cinematic vision remain PURE and TRUE to the independent spirit. I swear to submit to the following set of rules drawn up and confirmed by DOGPILE 95:
1. Shooting must be done on location. Props and sets must not be brought in (if a particular prop is necessary for the story, a location must be chosen where this prop is to be found).	1. Shooting MUST be done on location with no soundstages. However, if your Mom's basement is a $500,000 soundstage, then by all means shoot there. . Props and sets must not cost over $5 to make or produce, unless stolen or obtained through selling your body, or if you have a rich producer then spend his money. The point is, don't be stupid like Troma and spend your own money.
2. The sound must never be produced apart from the images or vice versa. (Music must not be used unless it occurs where the scene is being shot).	2. The sound must never be produced apart from the images or vice versa. But if you thought that there should have been ambient sound that wasn't there at the time, you can put it in, or if your brother's band has a cool song, put it in. We won't tell...
3. The camera must be hand-held. Any movement or immobility attainable in the hand is permitted. (The film must not take place where the camera is standing; shooting must take place where the film takes place).	3. The camera must be hand-held unless your penis is hand held, which in this case a tripod is admissible. Or if you don’t have any arms, then by all means use a tripod... If you have no penis, use a stedi-cam, those look great. For a female with no penis, call the Troma editing department. For a female with a penis, call Rosie O’Donell.. Any movement or immobility attainable in the hand or any other body part you can strap a camera to, is permitted.
4. The film must be in colour. Special lighting is not acceptable. (If there is too little light for exposure the scene must be cut or a single lamp be attached to the camera).	4. Use natural light whenever possible (Shooting illegally at night on private property is a good way to gain natural light through police flashlights and spotlight.), but if natural light seems too artificial, then by all means use some lights...
5. Optical work and filters are forbidden.	5. Optical work and filters are forbidden. But what the fuck? If you can afford them, use 'em! Use your imagination! There shouldn’t be a rule like this, as the late Billy Wilder said "There mustn't be rules like #5."
6. The film must not contain superficial action. (Murders, weapons, etc. must not occur.)	6. The film mustn't contain superficial action. So there better be murders, weapons, hard-bodied lesbians, boobies, and more boobies.
7. Temporal and geographical alienation are forbidden. (That is to say that the film takes place here and now.)	7. What the fuck is wrong with when and where the story takes place…sure worked for George Lucas. If the storyline involves it, feel free to alter time and space as we know it. The film can be wherever the mind takes you, like Buffalo NY, but we aren’t pressuring you. Shoot wherever you want... seriously do what we say.
8. Genre movies are not acceptable.	8. Genre movies are acceptable. Unless they are from pretentious boring genre like that movie about gay cowboys eating pudding. By the way, what exactly is a genre movie? See Shakespeare. Is that genre? Is Ron Jeremy’s Texas Dildo Masquerade genre? Then, by God, we want to be genre!
9. The film format must be Academy 35mm.	9. The film format must be Academy 35…er 16mm…er video..just make your movie anyway you can get it done., as long as it doesn’t suck.
10. The director must not be credited.	10. The director must take credit for his art. Even if it sucks, or if its someone else's and you can get away legally with it. The only exception is if you directed Italian For Beginners.
Furthermore I swear as a director to refrain from personal taste! I am no longer an artist. I swear to refrain from creating a "work", as I regard the instant as more important than the whole. My supreme goal is to force the truth out of my characters and settings. I swear to do so by all the means available and at the cost of any good taste and any aesthetic considerations. Thus I make my VOW OF CHASTITY. Copenhagen, 13 March 1995 On behalf of DOGME 95: Lars Von Trier	Furthermore, I swear as a director to stay true to my artistic vision! I swear to refrain from listening to anyone’s opinion of my work until it has been completed. My artistic integrity more important than making a film that will appeal to everyone. My supreme goal is to create and interesting and unique film. I swear to do so by all the means available and at the cost of any good taste and any aesthetic considerations. Thus I make my BOW-WOW-VOW OF FAST-AND-SHITTY. Cannes, 20 May 2002 On behalf of DOGPILE 95: Lloyd Von Kaufman P.S. If Steven Spielberg, David Geffen or Jeffrey Katzenberg are reading this, I’ll suck your cock and swallow for a job!