College dating is wild and unpredictable, and doesn’t have many set rules, unlike dating after college. College is a time where young people really get an idea for the dating scene, as high school wasn’t very representative of how the dating world really works.
Dating in college is kind of a survival of the fittest situation where the ones who can get dates get dates, and the ones who don’t or don’t want to, well… don’t. If you’ve got it, you’ve got it, and if you don’t, you don’t.
Whatever the reason for entering the dating scene (or staying away from it) in college, there are five facts about college dating that you’ll find surprising, or make you say, “Oohh, that’s why…”
1: One third of college seniors have been on two or fewer dates. Just because you’ve been in college for four years doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve been on your share of dates.
It may come as a surprise that that amount of seniors haven’t been on a date, but think about it this way; some students have their hearts set on getting their degree and starting their career right after college, so they are not very focused on getting a date this Friday night.
These students may seem like they’re not having as much fun as their classmates who are hooking up or dating, but they just have different goals and are really invested in their future, so they tend to shy away from dates and spend most of their time in the library.
2: Men have the upper hand when it comes to selecting a date. This is because there are more women than there are men in college.
Upwards of 55% of college students are female, so if you’re a guy and it doesn’t seem like you’ll be on a date anytime soon, think again; things are looking up.
3: You won’t find your next date at a bar near campus. College students love to party, and bar hopping is a good way to do that.
You’d think that with so many students going to bars some of them would have found a date at a bar, but only 2% of guys and 9% of girls find a relationship at a bar.
Next time you hit the bars with some friends and don’t go back home with someone, don’t let it ruin your drunken stupor; no one else that night went home with someone (unless they came together).
4: One out of every four seniors have never slept with anyone before. You’d think that with casual hookups being so popular that this number would be a lot smaller, but a quarter of seniors have never had sex.
This could tie into the statistic about students going one two or fewer dates in college; some students go to college to be students, and solely that. They may have major responsibilities, making them focus on their studies so they can get a job and provide for their family, or to get their lives back on track after a misstep.
With their studies and even work, some college students barely have time to even relax, let alone find someone to hookup with or date.
When you think about it in a different light, it makes sense that one out of four seniors are virgins. They may not be experienced in bed, but they could be closer to starting their careers than students who have slept around and put less focus on school.
5: Over 70% of college students hookup with someone by senior year. College can be really fun and blissful, but it can also really, really, suck and make you want to stab yourself in the eye with a pencil.
Thus, every now and then college students need to unwind and relax (by “every now and then” I mean just about every night). Some “unwind” by getting really turnt, some chill and watch Netflix, and some have sex with someone they just met.
By senior year, 7 out of 10 students will have had a one night stand, and many of them will have done that more than once. Sex is a great stress reliever, and sometimes it’s all you need to refresh yourself and enable you to tackle that essay or do some homework.
Clearly, the rules that apply to dating post-college don’t really apply at all to college dating. It’s a different species, with people a lot younger who haven’t really figured out who they are …
The world economy is always changing, but we know one thing for certain: STEM jobs (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics) are a quickly growing field and students who major in one of these areas is going to earn a significant salary from day one.
The majors that get people these types of jobs aren’t very appealing to most people, though, which is why jobs in these areas make so much money; there isn’t enough supply to meet the demand.
Some people not only don’t care about math or engineering, but money isn’t always on their mind; they’d rather do something that makes them happy, even if they have to live paycheck to paycheck.
Whether you’re an incoming freshman or a junior who has realized how much they hate their major, I’ve concocted a list of the five best majors in college right now, based not just off of starting salary but on how satisfied people are with their career choice.
College students who graduate with degrees in nursing will lead busy, but very meaningful careers. Over 80% over nursing students find their job to meaningful, which makes sense, as nurses help people every single day.
With an average starting salary of around $54,000 a year, nurses make pretty good money right off the bat, but that isn’t the biggest selling point for nursing majors. People who chose this major did it for a variety of reasons, centering around wanting to help people.
Not only do nurses love their job, they get pretty decent pay for it, so I’d say it’s a win-win for nurses here, and thus they earn the number one spot.
2. Biomedical Engineering
Another job in the medical field, these guys do tons of medical research at colleges, hospitals, and actual research facilities, whether they’re working on splicing genes or creating a pill that will help people live healthier lives, students who major in this field not only make a good salary to start on, they’re pretty happy with their jobs as well.
Most college grads who have a degree in this field will earn around $55,000 per year, and that will only go up from there. Not too bad, when your former roommate is living back home after his history major didn’t work out the way he’d hoped.
Nearly 80% of students who get a degree in biomedical engineering find their job to be meaningful, so it seems to feed the soul as well as your wallet.
3. Petroleum Engineering
If I was you I’d consider a job in this field before the world runs out of petrol- make your money while you can!
Petroleum engineers find themselves going from eating leftover burritos in college to earning major racks once they earn their degree – average starting salary in this field almost $100k a year.
It makes sense that people who graduate with this degree are happy with their careers, since money does make a lot of people happy; overall satisfaction with the job is around 75%.
The only drawback is that the world will run out of oil in around half a century, but it won’t matter to recent graduates as they’ll have more money than Scrooge McDuck by that time and will have retired.
If you don’t know what to do in life but know you want to make a lot of money, get a degree in petroleum engineering.
4. Education (Elementary)
Teachers are an important, seemingly undervalued asset for the entire world. Without them, many people would not have found their calling.
Teachers help students learn not just the assigned material, but they can assume a role of parent or friend, and teaching is a job that is generally underpays despite what they do for everyone throughout the world.
Elementary teachers, specifically, get kids engaged in learning and help set the foundation for the rest of their lives. This job has a lot of influence on the students and teachers, and it makes sense that over 75% of teachers find their jobs to be satisfactory and meaningful.
The starting salary is begins at around $31,000 a year, but I think the satisfaction teachers get from their jobs makes up for it pretty well.
Not many people these days are religious, and thus not many choose to study it in college. Those that do, though, live happy lives and are pretty happy with the choice they made.
Over 70% of students who major in this field find it to be …
College is a place to learn, parents and teachers say. It’s mostly a place to get weird and make new friends, if you ask actual college students.
Some schools, like those in the Ivy League, have students who really don’t care about getting blacked out, but would rather earn their degree and start making millions. That’s all well and good, but where’s the fun?
When we’re not studying (which is literally all the time), college students like to turn up, and some colleges turn up a bit more than others. Thus, it’s time we rank the top 10 party schools for 2016 and let everyone know who’s the best at getting turnt!
Here is the Turnt 10, ranked ‘Most Turnt’ to ‘Not As Turnt But Still Pretty Turnt’:
1. Syracuse (#1 overall 2015) – ‘Most Turnt’
2. UCSB (#3 overall 2015) – ‘Blacked Out After Blacking Out While Blacked Out’
3. University of Iowa (#2 overall 2015) – ‘Forgot Own Name’
4. West Virginia University (#4 overall 2015) – ‘Never Sober’
5. University of Florida (#10 overall 2015) – ‘Almost Too Turnt’
6. Florida State University (#12 overall 2015) – ‘So Turnt Always Chanting Fight Song’
7. Penn State University (#7 overall 2015) – ‘Drinking Perpetually To Forget That One Time’
8. Arizona State University (unranked 2015) – ‘Too Hot To Not Be Turnt’
9. Chico State University (unranked 2015) – ‘Turnt Before 8 AM Lecture’
10. University of Georgia (#15 overall 2015) – ‘Not As Turnt But Still Pretty Turnt’
1: Syracuse is ranked number 1 overall again, and it seems like they party just as hard as they do in the paint; if you like to party and you’re a 5-star recruit for basketball, Syracuse is the college for you.
2: University of California-Santa Barbara went up a notch, but didn’t get turnt enough in 2015 to surpass the reigning champs. Looks like some people need to attend Turnt Camp during summer to prepare for all the ragers throughout the next two semesters.
3: University of Iowa swapped spots with UCSB and I think there’s a rivalry brewing here; they both know how to get f*cked up and need to get more turnt than Syracuse this year if they have any hopes of getting the title next year. Iowa has a huge upside though, since there’s nothing to do in Iowa besides get turnt and shuck some corn.
4: West Virginia University is in the same spot they were in last year; that’s not a bad thing but doesn’t bode too well for them either- they are doing what they need to do every year, but that needs to change if they want to climb the ladder. I think WVU will see a lot of ragers this year, and look for them to party harder than a few schools ranked ahead of them.
5: The Florida Gators down in Gainesville have improved their turn up game and rose 5 spots ahead of their 2015 ranking, which was an unexpected climb given the competition. Look for these tanned and turnt students to rise even further over the coming year.
6: Florida seems to be a party state, as Florida State has claimed the 6th spot right behind the Gators. The Seminoles may have won the last two football games against their in-state rivals, but they still lag a few plastic gallons of vodka behind the Gators; look for FSU students to turn up extra hard in the coming year.
7: Penn State has faced a few years of inner turmoil lately, and that has lead to many drinks to forget the whole ordeal. These students are in a funk, and I don’t see that changing this year; the Nittany Lions will party, but it won’t be enough, and their ranking will fall out of the top ten in a year’s time.
8: Arizona doesn’t have much more than sand, heat, and sun. These combine to create an environment where getting turnt is a mandatory fact of life, and the Sun Devils sure know how to get weird. ASU wasn’t even ranked last year, but look for this school to stay high in the rankings and in life over the next few years.
9: Chico State, although unranked in 2015, finds itself back in the race at the ninth spot, as the Wildcats have gotten really, really, turnt over the course of the last year. These wild, but very friendly students are looking to do more of the same in …
Your parents, teachers, and even politicians preach about how important going to college is. They say you won’t be as successful without a college education and that you won’t make nearly as much money. There are even studies that have proven college grads simply just do better in life. It makes you wonder; there’s got to be some successful people in life who never went to college, right? Maybe you can’t afford college, and you just want some hope that you’re not completely screwed in life. Well, you might be surprised to hear that some of the most successful people in the world never made it to see their college diploma. Look no further, because we’ve got a list of super successful people who never went to college.
1. Bill Gates
The inventor of Microsoft and the richest man in the world, Bill Gates, never graduated college. That’s right, after two years at Harvard, Gates called it quits. Harvard eventually granted Gates an honorary degree in 2007, because come on, it’s Bill Gates! Gates is now one of the best-known entrepreneurs in history, has begun numerous charities, and is worth a whopping $78.8 billion dollars. In case you were wondering, Microsoft’s lesser-known co-founder Paul Allen also dropped out of college. We’re going to go ahead and say this whole dropping out of college thing really worked in these Microsoft guy’s favor.
2. Mark Zuckerberg
Everyone knows the story about how Mark Zuckerberg started Facebook out of his college dorm, but who knew that that he never graduated? He dropped out of Harvard his sophomore year to move to Silicon Valley and put all of his time and energy into the site. Lucky for Mark, Facebook is arguably the most used social media site out there, so his decision to drop out was clearly a smart move. There was even a movie made about Zuckerberg’s journey to the top.
3. Steve Jobs
Need I say more? Steve Jobs, the founder of a little company called Apple, is hailed as the Thomas Edison of our time but never graduated college. He never even made it past one semester. That’s right, Jobs dropped out after one semester and had to collect cans and bottles to make ends meet. Who knew that years later, Jobs would be named the most powerful man in business, and would be worth billions of dollars.
4. David Ek
David Ek only lasted eight weeks at his college in Sweden before he decided to drop out. Within a few years, he was already a millionaire. Ek has always been somewhat of a genius. Hence, he applied to be a Google engineer at age sixteen. So who is he? Ek is the co-founder of the Swedish music streaming service, Spotify, which has over 32 million users worldwide. Seems like these tech guys are onto something?
5. Susan Lyne
Susan Lyne tried out three colleges before ultimately dropping out, but this didn’t hold her back from having a successful and diverse career. The recently named CEO of AOL’s content brands used to be ABC’s president, as well as was the CEO of Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia and Gilt Groupe.
6. John Mackey
Who would’ve thought Whole Food’s founder, John Mackey, not only didn’t graduate college, he never even took a business course? Well, it’s the truth, Mackey dropped out of the University of Texas multiple times while studying religion and philosophy. Then, he joined a vegan co-op, met a girl, and borrowed money to open his first store. Whole Foods has now gone international and does more than $12 billion in sales.
7. Arash Ferdowsi
Pardon the pun, but the founder of DropBox was a college drop-out. Arash Ferdowsi is a co-founder of DropBox, which is now worth an estimated $4 billion. Yes, Dropbox is worth billions of dollars, and Arash is obviously enjoying the benefits. He became a millionaire at age 27. Arash is a 30-year-old Iranian-American entrepreneur who dropped out of MIT in his last year to focus on his business. Dropbox started out as a small startup but now has hundreds of millions of users. Way to go, Arash, we’d be lying if we said we weren’t jealous.
8. David Karp
Maybe you’ve heard of a little site called Tumblr. Of course you have, it’s the 9th most visited site in the nation. Not only did Tumblr’s creator, David Karp, never graduate college- he never even graduated high school! Nevertheless, Karp is worth an estimated $200 million dollars. …
A good amount of American high school seniors could probably tell you a million and one reasons about why they can’t wait to go to college. Unfortunately, an even larger amount of high school seniors could probably tell you even more reasons they can’t go to college. Whether it be money, a boyfriend or girlfriend, family issues, or simply no desire to leave home, none of these are good enough reasons to miss out on the college experience. Now, I know I might seem blindly optimistic right now, but that’s not the case. Here are the reasons you literally cannot afford to miss out on college.
Money talks. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to be rich, and going to college will get you there faster than if you didn’t.
A chart from the Wall Street Journal shows that in 2013, college graduates with a bachelor degree made approximately $17,500 more annually than high school graduates. Additionally, graduates with a bachelor’s degree made approximately $15,000 more annually than graduates with two-year degrees or some college.
These are hard statistics that can’t be debated, and this isn’t the only source that says getting your bachelor degree will make you richer in the long run.
I won’t deny that there is a different money issue here, and that is people who can’t afford to go to college in the first place. To these people, I say explore your options and your recourses. Go to a state school that isn’t very expensive, or save money by going to your local junior college for two years then transfer to a university. There is almost always a way if you try hard enough and utilize every option. FAFSA gives loans and grants to low-income families, and so do banks, not to mention scholarships. Get a job in college, and don’t be afraid to get student loan debt. Yes, I know that student loan debt is not ideal. But trust me when I say it’s totally better in the long run to suffer through the payments in order to make more money in the long run.
Personal and Professional Growth.
Have you ever met someone who never left their high school town, hung around the same people, did the same stuff, but totally became a better, more enlightened person? Me neither.
Moving away and going to college makes you a completely different person- for the better. College challenges you, pushes you, and rips you out of your comfort zone. It literally forces you to change. I’m not saying you’re going to wake up one day and be a totally different person, but the experiences you go through, the classes you take, and the people you meet in college makes the world so much bigger. Hopefully, college matures you, makes you more open minded, makes you smarter, and makes you want to try things you would never have tried before.
That’s the beauty of it- the possibilities in college are endless, mainly because it’s the main place where self-discovery happens. Let the change happen. And if your friends who never left home ever say “You are so different since you went to college,” you should respond saying “Yes, and that’s how it should be.”
Not to mention, you’re bound to grow professionally in college as well. Your courses, professors, counselors, internships and organizations you’re a part of will shape you into a more competent and confident professional. Even better, you’ll make so many connections that will help you professionally when you need it the most.
You Get Smarter.
As if this isn’t self-explanatory, indeed, college actually does make you smarter! (Who would’ve thought, right?)
Unlike high school, you get to study something you’re actually interested in, and that makes learning a lot more rewarding. And once you choose your major, you’re immediately surrounded by students in your classes who want to learn the same things you do, and that’s pretty awesome.
College is the only time in your life you’ll get together with your friends, grab a coffee, and sit in the library studying together for hours, and maybe even enjoy it.
Experience of a Lifetime.
Now that the serious business is out of the way, we’ve got to touch on how college will undoubtedly be the best four years of your life.
In college, you make the best friends of your life and create the craziest memories that will stay with you forever. The four years of college is the only time …
When you’re not in class or getting inappropriately hammered, what are you doing in college? More than likely, you’re binge-watching TV. We get it, some of the best days are spent in bed with a glass (or bottle) of wine, a bag of Doritos, and some Netflix. Since we get this important, sometimes underestimated aspect of college, we created a list of the seven shows all college students need to binge watch.
1. Blue Mountain State
Blue Mountain State is almost too good to be true for college students- because it’s about three incoming freshmen at a midwestern American University. If you had to sum up Blue Mountain state in five words, it’d be booze, frats, sex, drugs, and football. This show is hilarious, relatable, and raunchy, and perfect for a “Netflix and chill” night. What’s pretty dope too is that this show can be enjoyed by both guys and girls, which can’t be said for a ton of shows.
2. Breaking Bad.
If you haven’t seen any episodes of Breaking Bad yet- you are insane. If it’s crazy amount of awards and general popularity isn’t enough reason for you to watch it, let this list be the push that makes you. I’m guilty of missing more than a couple classes so I can continue to watch the next Breaking Bad episode. Breaking Bad is about a high school chemistry teacher who has terminal cancer and teams up with a former student to cook and sell crystal meth. The show’s intensity, amazing actors, nail-biting scenes, and plot twists will keep you entertained during every minute.
3. American Horror Story
American Horror Story is one of those shows you can’t watch alone- so it’s perfect to binge watch with all of your friends or college roommates. With a stacked cast full of A-List actors and a new plot every season, this show is a must watch for college students. A reviewer on IMDB described the crazy unique series best, “Both physical and psychological horrors affect a decomposing family, workers and residents of an insane asylum, a coven of witches, and a cast of circus freaks in this anthology series, focusing on the themes of infidelity, sanity, oppression, and discrimination.” This show is for all you scary movie fiends out there.
4. Jersey Shore
Yes, you guys, this is a real show on our list. Jersey Shore might have been entertaining to watch in high school, but watching the series over again in college is priceless. We as college students can now relate to how stupidly blacked out these guidos and guidettes get, so it makes the episodes so much more entertaining to watch. Jersey Shore lacks any structured plot to follow, so it’s awesome to put on when you’re hungover zoning in and out of paying attention.
5. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is perfect for college students because of it’s mix of stupid humor and witty, sometimes dark one-liners. The FX sitcom is based on the lives of five friends that own and run a pub, but always seem to get into bad situations because of their stupidity or arrogance. This show is a must-watch if you haven’t already, you’ll laugh out loud at every episode.
6. Game of Thrones
Game of Thrones is one of the most popular TV shows out right now, and once you watch an episode you’ll understand why. Most simply put, the show is about nine noble families who are fighting for control of the mythical land of Westeros. This show has so many different unique characters, dynamics and unbelievable plot twists you literally will be mind blown. Politics, sex, and violence are just a few of the themes in every episode. One of the best parts of watching Game of Thrones is talking about it to your friends that watch it too.
Comedy Central’s Tosh.0 is one of the funniest shows on TV for college students to watch. Daniel Tosh, comedian and host of Tosh.0, shows viewers ridiculous moments on the internet that week and provides some of the funniest commentaries you’ll ever hear. Tosh.0 also features skits and interviews, but every piece of content on Tosh.0 is drowning in dark, inappropriate, laugh out loud humor. Tosh.0 is perfect for college students because of the current and relevant people, topics and events Daniel Tosh makes fun of.
8. House of Cards
Netflix’s description of House of Cards couldn’t be more on point, “A ruthless politician will stop …
After reading dozens of articles, tweets and posts, we had to ask ourselves, why are people so obsessed with the Tara Monroe story? If you haven’t heard of Tara Monroe already, which would be insane, here’s the story.
It’s a college student’s parent’s worst nightmare: Your kid got a DWI. Not only does it royally suck for the parents, but it also sucks for the college student! Obviously, driving while drunk is never cool, and will never be cool, so I guess they deserve the consequences.
Twenty-year-old Texas State student Tara Monroe has a unique story about getting a DWI that has recently gained national attention. It all began when Tara got pulled over after a Waka Flocka concert and refused to do the breathalyzer test.
Ballsy Tara, very ballsy, and we might not be lying when we say that we would’ve done the same thing. Consequently, Tara got her license immediately suspended, but no one saw what was coming next.
To punish Tara further, her dad came to campus and took her car home for good. This left carless Tara with only a bike to get herself around, and as Tara told MySanAntonio.com, “Riding a bike around campus sucks. Like really sucks.” We honestly can’t say we disagree, Tara.
Tara decided to take matters into her own hands, so she turned to Craigslist to find a different, better way to get around campus. Her search led her to Charlene, a little girl who was selling a hot pink and purple Barbie Jeep for only sixty bucks. Tara, recognizing that this was a no-brainer, took the deal and decided to name the jeep after Charlene.
After buying Charlene, (the jeep not the girl) Tara became a lightweight celebrity on the Texas State and The University of Texas at Austin’s West campuses. After being the star of numerous peoples tweets, Snapchats, and Instagram posts, Tara’s story gained national attention.
For a week or so, the Tara Monroe story was blowing up everywhere on the internet- everyone was talking about it. But why? We have a theory, and will leave it up to you to decide whether or not you agree.
Our theory is that the Tara Monroe story makes people, particularly college students, feel better about their drunk fuck ups. This is because yeah, Tara definitely messed up, but she owned it and was able to make fun of herself. Again, we certainly don’t condone or support Tara getting a DWI, that’s not chill, but people mess up. At the end of the day, a positive attitude is all about the way you handle bad situations. So many college students have been in similar situations as Tara (the DWI part, not the jeep part) so maybe in a way these people feel like they can relate to her.…
In Defense of Lemmings
Directed by Justin Remer
Produced by Justin Remer
In Defense of Lemmings, the hilarious short film costarring Troma president Lloyd Kaufman (also certfied Dogpile film #8), is coming to a film festival near you in 2004. This wild, irreverent comedy combines four completely different movies in just under ten minutes.
A documentary crew follows a girl trying to explode the myth that lemmings follow each other off cliffs, a young writer searches for the perfect story and a way to stop losing his hair, three Eastern European Jews dream of a new life in America, and studio exec Lloyd Kaufman tries to make sense of the whole damn thing.
In celebration of In Defense of Lemmings‘s world premiere as a special Secret Screening at the 2004 Tromadance Film Festival, we present a trailer — featuring otherwise unavailable outtakes from the already-classic sequence featuring Lloyd Kaufman — available in QuickTime and Windows Media.…
A contract which binds the undersigned filmmaker (meaning you!) and their eternal soul to the dark lord Satan… er… I mean, to make sure their sinematic… um… cinematic vision remain PURE and TRUE to the independent spirit.
“I swear to submit to the following set of rules drawn up and confirmed by DOGPILE 95:
- Shooting MUST be done on location with no soundstages. However, if your Mom’s basement is a $500,000 soundstage, then by all means shoot there. . Props and sets must not cost over $5 to make or produce, unless stolen or obtained through selling your body, or if you have a rich producer then spend his money. The point is, don’t be stupid like Troma and spend your own money.
- The sound must never be produced apart from the images or vice versa. But if you thought that there should have been ambient sound that wasn’t there at the time, you can put it in, or if your brother’s band has a cool song, put it in. We won’t tell…
- The camera must be handheld unless your penis is hand held, which in this case a tripod is admissible. Or if you don’t have any arms, then by all means use a tripod! If you have no penis, use a stedi-cam, those look great. For a female with no penis, call the Troma editing department. For a female with a penis, call Rosie O’Donell.. Any movement or immobility attainable in the hand or any other body part you can strap a camera to, is permitted.
- Use natural light whenever possible (Shooting illegally at night on private property is a good way to gain natural light through police flashlights and spotlight.), but if natural light seems too artificial, then by all means use some lights…
- Optical work and filters are forbidden. But what the fuck, if you can afford them, use em. Use your imagination. There shouldn’t be a rule like this, as the late Billy Wilder said “There mustn’t be rules like #5.”
- The film mustn’t contain superficial action. So there better be murders, weapons, hard-bodied lesbians, boobies, and more boobies.
- What the fuck is wrong with when and where the story takes place… sure worked for George Lucas. If the storyline involves it, feel free to alter time and space as we know it. The film can be wherever the mind takes you, like Buffalo NY, but we aren’t pressuring you. Shoot wherever you want! Seriously! Do what we say.
- Genre movies are acceptable. Unless they are from pretentious boring genre like that movie about gay cowboys eating pudding. By the way, what exactly is a genre movie? See Shakespeare. Is that genre? Is Ron Jeremy’s Texas Dildo Masquerade genre? Then by God we want to be genre!
- The film format must be Academy 35… er 16mm… er video… just make your movie anyway you can get it done. As long as it doesn’t suck.
- The director must take credit for his art. Even if it sucks, or if its someone else’s and you can get away legally with it. The only exception is if you directed Italian For Beginners.
Furthermore I swear as a director to stay true to my artistic vision! I swear to refrain from listening to anyone’s opinion of my work until it has been completed. My artistic integrity more important than making a film that will appeal to everyone. My supreme goal is to create and interesting and unique film. I swear to do so by all the means available and at the cost of any good taste and any aesthetic considerations.
Thus I make my BOW-WOW-VOW OF FAST-AND-SHITTY
Cannes, May 20th 2002
On behalf of DOGPILE 95,
P.S. If Steven Spielberg, David Geffen, or Jeffrey Katzenberg are reading this, I’ll suck your cock and swallow for a job!…